Psalm 23:4

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, 
I will fear no evil, for You are with me; 
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."

It was Saturday, as I attended an advance celebration of Pentecost, there I heard that verse from a spiritual speaker whom I really admire, Bro. Bo Sanchez. It was just a short talk and yet, had gave and left a very significant lesson on me. He focused on the term "ambivalent" which means uncertain, hesitant, unsure, confused, etc. And he related the verse Psalm 23:4 with John 5:1-9 where there stated a sick man who was lying for 38 years. When Jesus saw that man lying on his mat and knew that he had been in that condition for long time, He asked "Do you wish to get well?". 

If you will meet someone on the road who has obviously no food and starving to death, would you ask him "What do you want?" Normally, we will assume that of course, this man needs food even though he didn't ask for it. But why Jesus, inspite of knowing that the man has been lying on his mat for long time, sick and ill, still, He asked him "Do you wish to get well?" 

Yes, it's true. Sometimes, we're uncertain, we're hesitant, we're unsure of what we really want that is also why Jesus still need to hear us asking Him for what we really want. And maybe the reason why Jesus still asked that man if he wish to get well, is because, for that 38 years, that man was able to live of his life through those people who keep on helping him. It may be already his comfortable life, maybe he get used to it already and is just afraid to stand and walk for he don't know where to go or what to do once he get well. And so, he might be unsure if he really wants to get well.

I paused and thought for that moment. Yes, I know, I also have this sickness in me that I am holding on for so long. I know what I want but when facing challenges, I tend to get lost then starts to doubt my desires. I'm afraid of the unknown, of the uncertainty. I'm afraid I wasn't able to make it. I'm afraid I might lose the game, I might fall and not to get up again. I am in my familiar world and I'm comfortable in it already. But still, I'm sick. I know I'm sick and yet, I don't want to pick up my mat and get up 'coz I'm always afraid...

I know I don't want to be in this kind of situation anymore and I believe, God don't want it either for me. God is God of Providence, of Love, of Generosity. He is a God of Abundance! He wants us all to be healed in whatever sickness we are in. And yet, we keep on holding on to that sickness and refuse to get well because of our FEARS. Lots of FEARS!

"Lord, like that sick man, I am ready to pick up my mat and walk. You know how weak I am and helpless without You. But despite of this sickness, I believe that You are with me wherever I go. And for this journey of life, I will cast all my cares upon You and fear no more for You are my Lord and my guide. Yes, You are my Refuge and my shield, that nothing can harm me anymore. - Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. In Jesus Mighty name, AMEN"